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In Honour of Isaac

28 Aug

This is not a video about how to prepare for a hurricane. This is a video of what not to do in a hurricane. Don’t be half-naked. Don’t drink. Don’t go outside. And most certainly, DO NOT share with (potentially) millions of youtube viewers, your weird, drunk, half-naked body pretending to report the weather in the middle of an actual hurricane.

With that said, my thoughts are genuinely with the areas currently being affected by Tropical Storm Isaac, and my heartfelt prayers go out to the people of New Orleans.

Battening Down,


P.S. Does this hurricane make me look fat?


Awww Snap, Bermuda Week Again?

22 Aug

See how long this ‘week’ is lasting?

Yeah, it totally gets even more ridiculous. I can’t believe this is allowed on the Interwebs. Just today I gave a speech about, “if it’s not good enough for print, it’s not good enough for online.” Wow, it’s a really good thing I don’t run a newspaper. Whew. The world is a better place without me trying to publish to a national audience.

And on that note, brace yourselves…


Happy Being Jelly,


Bermuda Week Continues

23 Jul

Don’t try to click on that like it’s a video. It’s not. It’s a screen shot. But if you click on it in general, it will take you to the video. So I guess they’re one and the same. This is a little video I like to call “That’s What She Said!” Try putting the stress on ‘said’. Practically shout it. It makes it even more fun. 

In this vid, I’m getting down with some sausage at the Brazilian BBQ restaurant aboard the Norwegian Star, Moderno Churrascaria. It was dangerously good. I got hit by a meat truck and suffered one. delicious. injury. after. another. I subsequently fell into a meat coma and fell asleep in my outfit with a bathrobe over it. But I digress. Here, the waitress is telling me about the best cut of meat on the menu. My face is about as inappropriate as food was.

And then when I couldn’t take it anymore…

That’s how you beg for mercy.

Happy Colon Cleanse Day,


You Have 3 Days Left to See Jane Fine

20 Apr


“Each painting is a creative battle whose outcome is redemptive. Using painterly invention as a sign for optimism, the work becomes celebratory. There’s room to dance, even if all the party guests are scarred and bandaged.” I (kinda) recently attended the opening of Formulas for Now, Jane Fine‘s art exhibit currently on at Pierogi Gallery in Brooklyn. It was an impromptu jaunt over the bridge, but one I’m glad I made. Like Jackson Pollock, Edgar Allan Poe, and Philip Roth before her, Jane Fine deals in forms of chaos, or more appropriately, their aftermath. But what is perhaps most extraordinary this exhibit is her quasi-Pollock-like technique, using dripping, as well as strokes and washes, yet without any direction, or plan or blueprint. And yet she still manages to capture a pretty accurate depiction of when the dust settles, and we are left amid the debris.


She replaced some of her usual saturated colours with a darker, more neutral (maybe even more ominous) palette, but the effect is an organic experience with pieces like “Taking a Plunge into the Nasty Unknown”.


If you haven’t deduced by now, when an artist creates a painting using materials like markers, constructing without a plan, no piece can be recreated. So every piece is truly one-of-a-kind.

(Three days)


This is Fine’s fifth one-person exhibit at Pierogi but she’s no stranger to the national art scene, having had, or been a part of, shows in San Fran, LA, New Orleans, Boston, Houston. The show ends on April 22, so if you want to look like this guy, I suggest you go.


Jane Fine
Formulas for Now
Pierogi Gallery
177 North 9th St.
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
11:00 AM – 6 PM


Plunge into the Chaos,


That’s Vitae…with an X

2 Apr

Hells yeah, for explicitly mouth orgasmic. As a fan of Top Chef, and someone who regularly speaks about food like one of the judges — “There’s a really nice crunch here. Great texture.” “The flavor really permeated the dish, with just the right amount of acid.” — I was in dining heaven on a recnt trip to Vitae in midtown. Sexy silverware, knowledgeable staff, a sommelier on hand…and just look at that steak! That’s what sold me. I didn’t care what it took, I had to have the precious. Unfortunately, said steak was not on hand, but nevertheless I had an incredible meal. Starting with the Seared Diver Scallop with cauliflower, romanesco, raisins, and red Thai curry sauce, I moved on to the Herb Risotto with shellfish and lobster sauce.

The Seared Diver Scallop

The dish had crunch, spice, sweet, acid, and the scallops simply melted in your mouth. It was the ultimate realization what I imagined the dish could be.

The Herb Risotto

Then there was the risotto. Sigh, let me count the ways…the shrimp was cooked to perfection, springy and crisp, and the whole dish exuded a bouquet of aroma, and I mean that literally. With every bite, I thought of flowers, about time lapse videos of them bursting into bloom. And after all of that, my favourite dessert, crème brûlée. There are no pics of that, it was gone by the time it hit the table.

The whole experience was especially impressive, considering they had only been open for 2 days at the time, but it seems packing the place with a bunch of friends and family — so the staff can feel the rush of a full house — has its payoffs.

Go. Vitae. Now. It’s as imperative as the name implies.

NEW YORK, NY 10017

In the words of Wooderson, this is L-I-V-I-N’,


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